Why Not?

Question of the day: Why is it that when you are down, and upset, people insist on attempting to cheer you up by telling you that you have no reason to be upset? Seriously?! Just let me be miserable. I am not taking out on you, or in fact ,asking for your input on the subject whatsoever. No, I am existing here, alone, not affecting anyone. You came to me, observed my bad mood, and now feel the need to fix it. It is not broken; in fact it was working just fine. LEAVE IT ALONE!

It all started last night. I saw an episode of FRIENDS, the one where Ross and Monica's gramma died. It made me sad, on account of the fact I miss my gramma like a woah. Then, I kind of started to dwell on the bad things that had happened to me of late and got myself all sad.

Well, the sad turned to bitter when I arrived at school today to discover that there actually was not reason for me to be there. I had wanted to play hookie (I still have two and half days of time to take), but I thought my favorite collegaue needed help finishing something we had started together and I didn't want to leave her high and dry, so I went in. Well, turns out that she had finished it last night becuase she is awesome. I do not begrudge her my bitterness, but when you are faced with eight hours of sitting in room that you are being evicted from shortly, it can be quiet despressing. It totally was.

So, as I realized the vast expanse of my upcoming boredom coupled with the process of cleaning out my classroom, I began to think about my joblessness. It really sucks. It seems like all the local possibilities are quickly drying up and that in order to get a job I shall have to uproot my husband and move. Plus, being rejected after making it to the final two twice sucks. I mean, I am perpetually people's second choice, which my ego and my heart find rather hard to accept. Second place...nothing like being told how fantastic people think you are, but you aren't as fantastic as the other guy (or in most of my cases, girl).

So, needless to say, sadness coupled with bitterness mixed with an abundance of time to stew equals me in a bad mood. Well, apparently there is some cosmic rule that states that you are not allowed to be in a bad mood. In fact, people will make  point to remind you of the fact that you shouldn't be in a bad mood.  Want to know what makes me move from bitter to pissed off? When people inform me that unbeknownst to me, I have no right to be upset.

Apparently, when you have something bad happen to you, some people think that you do not have the right to be upset about it unless everything in your life is also falling apart. I don't have a job? Well, I have no right to be upset about that because I have a husband. My gramma passed away? Well I shouldn't be upset about that because  look at how many people are still friggin' alive. No, no. Bad shit happens but we aren't allowed to be upset about it. Nope. Fuck your feelings, I think you should be happy and by golly, let me tell you why!

Fun fact: if people were not supposed to be sad ever, then we wouldn't be able to be sad. That would not be an emotion that we would be able to have or recognize. The fact that we can tells you that we should be allowed to be. I mean, I get it. There really are people out there that are in worse situations than I am. Millions. But you know what? That doesn't mean that I am not allowed to be upset about something that happened to me. Want to know the easiest way to deal with things? By dealing with them. I find that saying that I shouldn't be upset about something because something else in my life is good is an insult.

I wish more people would realize that being angry and upset is okay.  I don't think that it is a bad feeling at all. Sometimes people are sad, and you know what, it is fine. Sometimes people just need to be bitter about something. As long as they are not hurting anyone with their bitterness, then let them be. Seriously. What is wrong with being in a bad mood? I mean, if I am taking it out on you, then by all means, please tell me and help me stop.

And do not try and tell me that you are trying to help me because you care about me. If that is the case, then when you ask if I need anything and I say no, believe me. Some people just like to be left alone when they are upset.