No creative title coming to mind..

Today was a another day tacked on to a week that seems to be developing far too strongly in to random acts of oh nos! Now, if that doesn't at all make sense to you, it also does not make sense to me, so there you go.

So, Sunday was the anniversary of my Gramma's death. Katherine was here, and after she left,  went to see my sister who is up from Florida, so I didn't have any alone time to really dwell on it. That alone made me feel like a bad person. I feel like should have done something to commemorate the occasion, but I didn't really know what to do. The fact that she died in the winter does not make it overly conducive to visit her grave. Then, I thought perhaps I should do something here.... but what? I have never had anyone that close to me die, so I have no precedent to go by. I cried once Sunday, but that is it. It weird because I will break down at the memory of the fact that she used to park in the JCP parking lot when we went to the mall so she would always know where we parked, but on the anniversary of her death I did nothing. I feel like I am not properly memorializing her.

Today, my dad started off with me screaming "No no no no no no no!" because I woke up at six am. I usually leave for work at six am.  I didn't hear my alarm go off. My phone says it went off, so it must have, but I did not hear it. I think it is karma. I took meds before I went to bed, and they weren't really necessary, so yeah. I mean, my back did hurt, and my neck was tense, but I should have just sucked it up and dealt.

Yesterday,  found out that I need to have my wisdom teeth yanked out of my head. I am dreading this. Mostly because I am afraid it will give me terribly bad breath. I am so self conscious of that since Josh's breath can be down right disgusting at times. But, his didn't start until he had his wisdom teeth pulled. I am also apprehensive because I will not be sedated for this. My insurance does not cover sedation, so instead I am just getting the local Novocain.  I am sure it will suck royally, but I could not fathom spending $600 when the local is free. Right?

I hope my week gets better. Not that this is really that terrible. I just like more routine and less spontaneity.

I love Saturdays

This has been an absolutely terrific Saturday. It has been the type of Saturday where I have bee kind of productive and have gotten stuff done, but do not feel like I spent the whole day working. No pressure, 2014, but the bar has been set pretty high for Saturdays. Be on alert....

However, Saturday's are quite possibly the worst days as far as keeping me on track for trying to get fit/lose weight. I started off my day with a big breakfast including bacon. Do I regret it? No. I do however wish I had made myself go to the gym. But, I didn't want to. I mean, let's face it,  I never want to go to the gym, but I should have today. Oh well, there is tomorrow. And, I am out of bacon, so tomorrow is looking healthier already. :)

So, the realization that next Sunday marks the one year anniversary of my Gramma's death dawned upon me yesterday. It seems crazy to think that is has been a year since she passed. Some days it seems long ago, and others it seems like I just talked to her, you know? Thanksgiving was hard, but Christmas came easier. I do not know why. I know that I feel kind of guilty about it. I don't really know why, but I do.

New Year, New Me? Yeah, we'll see.

So, I can't believe that 2013 is over. I mean sure, I lived each one of the 365 days, ticked them off one by one, and counted down while the ball dropped, but it is still surreal to me. Sure, some might think I am being nostaligic, or beginning to dread the process of aging, but it is none of that. 2013 was a rough year for me; I am surprised I made it out alive.

Oh, and did I ever. I had a New Year's Eve to be remember (which, with the amount that I drank almost didn't happen.) Husband and I went out on the town with D, DL, and Dartmer. It was fantastic. Drew was playing at a bar (read:sketchy ass place.) We danced and had a good time of it. Husband made me go home when my alarm clock to wake up for work went off. Yep, that kind of night.

But, not as two days have passed into this New Year, I realized I have not solidified any resolutions. Okay, so I realized this at work, while I was wishing I was ANYWHERE but there....so, I brainstormed a couple:

1. I will read and blog about at least one book a month. Also, half of this minimum (so, six) should not be classified as YA. I spent enough time around teenagers....which if you didn't know I was a teacher sounds really sketchtastic.

2. I will make working out a regular part of my life. (Not losing weight, but being active. Yep, changing the wording should make all the difference in the world.)

3. Be more proactive/less procrastinating in all work related things. I mean, I have been exponentially better in regards to handing back papers this year, but I can definitely up my game in lesson planning and grading faster. No more continuously waiting until the last minute.

4. Spend me time, everyday. Whether it is reading, writing, nothing. Just free my mind from all the things that weigh it down.

5. Stay in touch with those I care about better. Don't just Facebook stalk them. Reach out.

6. Start a 401k.


So, I think these are pretty reasonable goals to achieve. That is also a goal, to make reasonable goals. So, let's see how this all goes.

One Straight Week of Awesomeness

Okay, so apparently if you post enough depressing blog entries, eventually something non-depressing shall happen.

This past week has been a week of awesomeness. First, I got a new (to me) car! Yes. Super fancy as well, a 2008 Toyota Rav 4, Limited. Yep, have to add the limited part because that is what makes it all fancy like. The, boom, got another interview, and then another! But, that is really not the best part. This is:

TODAY I GOT A JOB! I did it. I landed a full time position. Nervous as all get out. I feel like the bar is very, very far above me, but I am more than willing to make my way up to meeting it. The best part? I feel like I click with this school like a lego. I mean it. I just feel comfortable there, and it is reciprocated. Since I shared a terrible email last time, I am sharing a fantastical one this time:

Hello Sabrina,

 

Thank you for the note.  You have absolutely nothing to worry about!  Your writing sample was for us to see cogent sentences and paragraphs and for us to see that you had an understanding of instructional practices with an understanding of close reading.  You did fine!! 

 

It was an absolute pleasure meeting and interviewing with you.  I am ecstatic about you joining our team and look forward to working with you over the next several years!

 

Kick butt on Tuesday (as I know you will) and keep your eyes and ears open as we'll be contacting you shortly thereafter.

 

I thoroughly enjoy your quirkiness and feel free to ask as many questions as you want.  I too ask several!! 

 

We'll talk soon!

 

The Guy Who Wants to Be Your Boss

So yay! I have some much to do to prepare, but right now I think I am just going to enjoy this feeling of, well joy!

I am very grateful to all the people who have supported me. I feel like I finally did them justice today :)

Renaming of this blog....

I think it is official. I should just rename this blog "Ways I Suck at Life". I had another job interview today. Guess what? I didn't get it. Again. I interviewed at a school that I had interviewed at previously, and did well in. Well, turns out I suck even more this year because I wasn't called for a second interview. Nope, I was emailed:

Good Afternoon,

I tried to phone, but must have missed you when I was making my calls.  I wanted to let you know you did a very nice job interviewing today, but we have decided to go in a different direction at this time.  I do want you to know you were one of the top candidates for this position as you gave a fine interview.  Thank you so much for your interest in the **** Central School and I wish you the best of luck in your search.

Sincerely,

Guy Who Isn't Offering You a Job


Then, I emailed back asking for feedback and just got (like literally as I am writing this post) this response:


Good Afternoon Sabrina,

Your interview went well.  Your answers demonstrated your knowledge and years of experience, but the committee didn’t “connect with you”.  I think what was meant by this was that we saw a very level, soft-spoken personality, but unfortunately we didn’t get to see your excitement and passion for teaching and learning.  If I was to recommend something, I would tell you to think about what  drove you to be a teacher…probably the love of children or the excitement of teaching/learning, and find a way in the interview to let that excitement and passion stand out.

Thank you again for your interest in ****

Guy Who Will Never Email You Again


Why can't I land a job? I mean, what is it about me that makes people like me, but not enough to hire me....I don't know, but I am going to mull it over with a wine slushie or seven.

Case of the Monday's

Ugh, what a day. Not that I actually have any right whatsoever to complain about it being as I slept most of it away. For the first time in my life I slept in to 11:00am today. Correction. I got my butt up at 6:30am, felt like crap, and went back to bed at 8:00am and proceeded to sleep until 11:00am. What a waste of a day.

Seriously, I can't stand sleeping that much, but I didn't feel well so I am chalking it up to that. My stomach was really upset. It was upset yesterday, as well. I don't know why. I do know it is not because I am pregnant, though that is what everyone assumes. I bet it is just stress and heat. It is ungodly hot out. Not really the heat though, as usual, the humidity is what is annoying.

So, no word on a job today. It is depressing. However, I did start painting the kitchen. While some may find this less than exciting news, I find it fascinating. My kitchen is blood red, which, in my less-than-humble opinion, is a terrible color for a kitchen. To me a kitchen should be a bright cheerful place. My kitchen is currently a dark, dismal place. So, I am painting it since I have so much free time on my hands.

I actually had a fantastic weekend. Katherine came to visit and I haven't seen her in forever so it was awesome. I feel a little bad, though. She needed help doing her math course, but I suck at math, so I was no help whatsoever. None. Whatsoever. But we got to hang out and that was fun. :) Then, it was Drew's surprise birthday party. It was a ton of fun. It was good to see him doing well after falling ill. After spending all week by my lonesome, it was pretty awesome to be able to hang out with some fantastic people.

One Sided Friendships

You know what sucks? That in so many friendships, there is always one person who seems to care about the other more. Now, I might just be jaded, but I really think that in 90% of my friendships, I am more willing to do things for the other person than they are me. It kind of sucks.

What brought about this pity party one might ask? It isn't even that I needed a friend and they weren't willing to help. It was that I knew a friend needed help, and despite the YEARS of our friendship, I am not the person they allowed to help them. I know how backwards this sounds, I really do, but nonetheless, it definitely stings a bit when the help I offer is overlooked because this new and exciting person has offered to help instead. It makes me feel as though the foundation of our friendship is jello.  Which is sucky.

In reality, my problem is most likely the fact that I have way too much free time on my hands. I do. Entirely. Too. Much. Time. All I do is sit around and think. Well, technically, I do other stuff, but it is all very trivial and unimportant. I have thoroughly cleaned my house (not going to lie, it was kind of ewe in some places. Not like hidden piles of mold in the back of the fridge ewe, just like how many inches of dust can actually accumulate in one place ewe.), I have read a book (Game of Thrones - pretty good) and like um, applied for jobs. Yeah, see, I've done STUFF, but like I said, none of it is all that important. I am meant to do more with my life! But what? I mean, I really have no choice in what I do. Unfortunately for me, I do not get to control the circumstances surrounding my getting a job. Nope, that's up to the tax payers and some god awful governor who thinks offering tax breaks to companies will improve NY's future. Yes, we are broke and have to cut education funding, but by all means, if you want to start a business you don't need to pay taxes! If that is not a prime example of why education needs more funding (because his obviously has failed him), I don't know what is.